Marge: Come on, Homer. Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.
Homer: That’s not how I remember it.
The Simpsons, “Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo”
Full spoilers for Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Remake, and the original FFVII follow.
Aerith dies.
Growing up, I was a Nintendo kid. I did not own a PlayStation until I was a man. Nonetheless, Aerith’s death at the hands of Sephiroth’s Masamune is common knowledge for anybody who knows the acronym JRPG. Seeing this moment recreated in glorious high-definition was the main appeal for picking up Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
Technically though, I also grew up playing Rebirth. I started the game shortly after its release as a late-young thirtysomething and finished it a year later as a young-mid thirtysomething.1 FFVII Rebirth is too long. Beating the game took me under one hundred hours, so this is not the longest JRPG ever created. Yet it drags so damn much. I would play for a week or two at a time but grow bored every time I set off to complete all the world intel for each region. Inevitably, I would put the controller down for a few months, play something else, and then pick Rebirth up once again. Remake’s shorter, forty-hour runtime felt like a light snack in comparison to Rebirth’s all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.
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